Christmas after RNY

This was my first Christmas after RNY gastric bypass. Tomorrow will be my 7 month anniversary since surgery. Anyone researching or planning to have this surgery I caution you: things WILL change & some changes you may not like.



If I thought Thanksgiving was tough then Christmas was even harder. I try not to complain about food options when it comes to family gatherings & meals because I'm just one person out of everyone that has to follow special guidelines when it comes to food choices. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to complain about it here!

I get angry at food now. I loathe seeing cookies & sweets & cake & bars now. I spent many moments yesterday scowling at & staring down cookies, candy, or cake. Fighting off the urge to shove it in my mouth no matter the repercussions was excruciating! The only thing keeping me from doing it was knowing that I would be in more than a WORLD OF PAIN if I carried through. Just eating a few Doritos caused me to feel gross for a while (it's been advised that I don't use the term "Dumping" because no one seems to understand what I mean; instead I'll just start saying "gross" instead of explaining myself every time). I watched everyone graze while socializing before dinner. It was hard to sit back and not join in. It's hard to watch other people eat when 1) you're not hungry and 2) most of the food isn't good for me anyway.

We served lasagna which was SO very delicious. Well, the small 1" x 2" piece I had was divine. I picked out most of the pasta from it just in case. I was done about 15 minutes before everyone else so I got up and started cleaning up the kitchen instead of sitting & watching everyone else continue to eat. It's lonely in RNY-land sometimes.

It's frustrating when people give you a (what they deem as) "normal" serving sizes of food and your eyes go wide and you have to say "er, um, no thanks, I honestly can't even eat half of that". It's such an incredible shift to lifestyle that I struggle around people who aren't Ben. Ben totally understands what I can and cannot eat and how much I can and cannot eat. He's careful at what we decide to make for dinner & he's vigilant to make sure I don't go and eating something that he knows (and I know but decide to ignore) will make me feel horrible. He understands just how restricted my diet really is and I love him for it. Others, well, sometimes I'm left with very little food options because they still just don't get it. I've actually started stashing string cheese sticks in my purse when we go somewhere just in case there isn't anything I can reasonably eat.

For Christmas I/we received (I can't remember if it was for me or "us") but we now have 4 boxes of tea to drink with our new electric water kettle. It works GREAT & tea has been such a savior for me these past few months. I just cannot get myself to drink cold liquids in the winter so hot tea is the next best thing to coffee AND doesn't makes my insides twist in knots like when I drink coffee.

I drank a little bit of wine yesterday. Thankfully the bottles were empty when I came back up stairs because I was intending to drink more. I'm glad they were empty because I got an odd feeling afterword that my pouch would not have been happy with me. So, all in all, Christmas has been a struggle with the treats that are always there and the carb-loaded food. However, when I think about how I was 105 pounds heavier this time last year I'm grateful for making the decision to have gastric bypass. The pain & struggles & sacrifice are SO worth it.